Going for the Gold

seeking

“I must dream of the things I am seeking…”

‘I Have Confidence’ – The Sound of Music – Julie Andrews as Maria.

This is a follow up to last week’s post on goal setting. Rather than asking myself ‘What do I want to achieve?’, I’ve been asking ‘How do I want to feel?’. So far, I’m finding this change of mind-set really helpful. I’m finding it easier to break out of the destructive ‘I need to achieve this or I’m a failure’ thought loop…When I take a moment to stop and notice, I remember…’Oh yeah, I don’t want to feel shit…Can I do something to change that?’

I’ve stolen ideas from reading about Danielle Laporte’s “The Desire Map” and translated my lists of goals into a list of desires. For each goal, I asked myself ‘Why do I want to achieve this?’ and ‘How do I want to feel?’. Here is an example:

  • Goal: To get a paid performing job, ideally in a musical.

Why do I want to achieve this? : I want to perform/I love performing/It’s what I’ve trained to do…

Now the dirty truth…I want to be able to justify my existence/show I’m talented/I want someone else to give me a vote of confidence…yeah, I know, not ideal…I’m basically a puppy that wants someone to love me.

How do I want to feel?: Happy, Creative, Accomplished, Inspired, Valid, Connected, Loved.

So, before this change of mind-set, I might have created an action plan like this:

  1. Annoy (I mean write polite emails/love letters to) casting directors with links to my showreel etc.
  2. Talk to my agent about suggesting me for ‘such and such a wonderful musical’ that he probably can’t get me seen for, no matter how hard he tries.
  3. Cry about how unfair is is that nobody appreciates how talented I am.

Resulting Feelings:  Grumpy, fed up, shit, bitter, twisted etc.

OR I could try this:

  1. Do some freaking singing practice, take a dance class, go to a workshop, learn a monologue, read a play, get together with some fellow performers to do something other than bitch and moan.
  2. Get on with writing my own cabaret. Create my own work.
  3. Set myself a time limit for emailing Casting Directors/applying for jobs, so that I still keep my face in the frame for jobs I’m interested in, but it doesn’t suck the joy out of my day.

Resulting feelings: Happy, Creative, Accomplished, Inspired, Valid, Connected, Loved (by myself – that’s probably the most important one).

Win!

So, in a big old brainstorming (or, as my mother would call it, naval gazing) session, I went through all my lists of goals and pinpointed the feelings I want to feel…i.e. What am I really seeking?

As Julie sings, I must dream of the things I am seeking…

I am seeking:

  • Joy
  • Love
  • Growth
  • Creativity
  • Connection
  • Abundance

I don’t need courage to find that. It’s all here.

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Going for the Gold

  1. Pingback: Getting Your Priorities Right – What Would Julie Do?

  2. Pingback: Networking and Making Connections – What Would Julie Do?

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